Lawyers do it with appeal. Lawyers do it confidentially. Lawyers do it on a trial basis. Lawyers do it until justice prevails. Lawyers do it as long as you can pay them. Lawyers do it unless it is prohibited by law. Related The Tombstone Good and Bad Lawyer Many a death sentance . $30,000 cash

There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge. Related Hinde iTo Away Jokes To multo good news, bad news How the Lawyer Lost His Expensive Shoes

Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it. Related How lawyers do it Contingent fee The Tombstone What’s wrong with Lawyer jokes?

A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of lawyers. They called down to ground control with their list of demands and added that if their demands weren’t met, they would release one lawyer every hour. Related $200 to answer three questions Contingent fee multo

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight. Related Death certificate Many a death sentance . Annoying lawyer LAST LAUGHS

When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don’t win your suit, I get nothing. If I do win it, you get nothing." Related Good and Bad Lawyer extreme near space project $200 to answer three questions Everything

What’s wrong with Lawyer jokes? Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes. Related extreme near space project Ang Ulam At ang Asin doodle How the Lawyer Lost His Expensive Shoes

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man’s pulse?" "No," the coroner replied. The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?" The coroner said, "No." "Did you check for breathing?", asked the attorney. Again the coroner replied, "No." […]

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. "That’s unfair !" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to […]

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone […]

An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I […]

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness: "Yes, sir." The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?" The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches." The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the […]

A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back […]

* In the USA, everything that is not prohibited by law is permitted. * In Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited. * In Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted by law. * In France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited by law. * In Switzerland, everything that is not prohibited […]

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer […]