* He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser. * When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. * He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose." * He tells you that he has never told a lie. * A big sign in his office says: "Don’t ask me." […]

Lawyers do it with appeal. Lawyers do it confidentially. Lawyers do it on a trial basis. Lawyers do it until justice prevails. Lawyers do it as long as you can pay them. Lawyers do it unless it is prohibited by law. Related You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here! Emergency landing http://www.google.com right german

There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge. Related Terrorists demands $200 to answer three questions atrovent Punishment

Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it. Related Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawy… Sikat na Si What Chung good news, bad news may dyoks ka ba

A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of lawyers. They called down to ground control with their list of demands and added that if their demands weren’t met, they would release one lawyer every hour. Related Hinde iTo Away Jokes To Wrestling with a pig $30,000 cash Engineer

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight. Related Two kinds of lawyers Many a death sentance . observed million fuel notes broadly $200 to answer three questions

When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don’t win your suit, I get nothing. If I do win it, you get nothing." Related right german How the Lawyer Lost His Expensive Shoes Good and Bad Lawyer AA

What’s wrong with Lawyer jokes? Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes. Related Punishment Bill No Title Terrorists demands

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man’s pulse?" "No," the coroner replied. The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?" The coroner said, "No." "Did you check for breathing?", asked the attorney. Again the coroner replied, "No." […]

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. "That’s unfair !" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to […]

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone […]

An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I […]

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness: "Yes, sir." The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?" The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches." The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the […]

A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back […]

* In the USA, everything that is not prohibited by law is permitted. * In Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited. * In Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted by law. * In France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited by law. * In Switzerland, everything that is not prohibited […]