Halo-halo dyoks (part1)

A soldier died. Wife is crying during burial when
flag was given to her. She said,"Aanhin ko paang watawat na ‘to kung wala na ang flagpole ko!"
Hu…hu…hu…
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Doctor: Lola, kailan ho ba kayong last nakipagtalik?
Lola: Mga 1955
Doctor: Matagal na ho pala ano?
Lola: Di naman! (sabay tingin sa relo). 20:55 pa lang naman ah!
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Sa airport canteen, umorder ang isang Amerikano?
Kano: Miss, will you please give me one few two?
Tindera: What, sir?
Kano: I said one few two.?
Tindera: Oh, puto!
Kano: Yeah, thats right!
(Sa loob-loob ng tindera, Puto lang, pino-few two few two pa! Gagantihan ko siya!)
Tindera: Okey, sir? What color do you want? Few la? or few ti?
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Anak : Tays ! kakains nas tayos !
Tatay : Hoy ! Tigilan mo yang kalalagay mo ng ‘S’ sa mga sinasabi mo ha! Ano ba ang ulam ?
Anak : BANGU na may KAMATI, ARDINA na may IBUYA !

What do you think ?