Definition of Medical Terms

Benign – What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria.
Barium – What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section – A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan – Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize – Made eye contact with her.
Colic – A sheep dog.
Coma – A punctuation mark.
D&C – Where Washington is.
Dilate – To live long.
Enema – Not a friend.
Fester – Quicker than someone else.
Fibula – A small lie.
G.I.Series – World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail – What you hang your coat on.
Impotent – Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain – Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff – A Doctor’s cane.
Morbid – A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates – Cheaper than day rates.
Node – I knew it.
Outpatient – A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear – A fatherhood test.
Pelvis – Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative – A letter carrier.
Recovery Room – Place to do upholstery.
Rectum – Damn near killed him.
Secretion – Hiding something
Seizure – Roman emperor.
Tablet – A small table.
Terminal Illness – Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor – More than one.
Urine – Opposite of mine.
Varicose – Near by/close by.

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