call center bloopers

a call center agent asking for a time para macalculate ung total fees ng customer:
agent: sir, can i calculate you?

*******************************************

an agent wants to put a customer on hold asks permission:
agent: can i hold you?
*******************************************

agent is troubleshooting and asks the customer about smart card [it is like sim card, na dapat i-insert sa phone para gumana]in the receiver:

agent: so, how long have you been inserted?
*********************************************

agent verifying kung ang customer ang nag-connect ng cables dun sa equipment:
agent: sir, did you hook yourself?
********************************************

customer added a channel pak:
customer: so, when can you turn me on?
[oh waaa!]

*********************************************
customer speaking with a newbie agent:
customer: hello, am i speaking with a machine???
*********************************************

What do you think ?