1. A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce. She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I’m a vegetarian n yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."
2. Woman: Dr. An ant entered my vagina, please take it out.
Doctor removes her panties and start making love .
Woman: What are you doing?
Doctor: This is the only way to drown the bastard!
3.Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
Ans: YOUR SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 –4 days & if it doesn’t come you are in deep trouble!
4. A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted then b 4.
Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought u said 3 MALES a day!!!!
5. Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty. GOD Said" No way; Now As It Is,The Penis is so ugly & U still Suck It. If I make it Pretty You’ll Eat It up!!
6. A nun went 4 a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told her she waz pregnant,she cried n said," Shit,we can’t even trust cucumber anymore.!
7. A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked" Do U have this? " The girl lifted up her skirt & said," My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!"
8. Schoolgirl: I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION. Class Teacher: Why not? Schoolgirl: Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!"
9. Mother asks daughter, how is married life? Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS. Mother reads the ad & is shocked " 7 DAYS A WEEK, TWICE A DAY, AND BOTH WAYS!
10. What is the STRONGEST muscle? TONGUE- It can raise a woman’s hip with just one lick!. The lightest muscle? PENIS! It can be raised by a woman’s tongue!
11. Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu.
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what’s your full name? Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
12. Man to wife: Business is bad if u learn 2 cook we can remove servant. Wife:
ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener & watchman..
13. COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party. BALLS said: You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!
14. A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like? Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn’t have chance to see his face" !
15. What’s the difference between stress, tension & panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, PANIC is when both are pregnant!
What do you think ?
May 31, 2008
Compiled Jokes
1. A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce. She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I’m a vegetarian n yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."
2. Woman: Dr. An ant entered my vagina, please take it out.
Doctor removes her panties and start making love .
Woman: What are you doing?
Doctor: This is the only way to drown the bastard!
3.Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
Ans: YOUR SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 –4 days & if it doesn’t come you are in deep trouble!
4. A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted then b 4.
Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought u said 3 MALES a day!!!!
5. Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty. GOD Said" No way; Now As It Is,The Penis is so ugly & U still Suck It. If I make it Pretty You’ll Eat It up!!
6. A nun went 4 a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told her she waz pregnant,she cried n said," Shit,we can’t even trust cucumber anymore.!
7. A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked" Do U have this? " The girl lifted up her skirt & said," My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!"
8. Schoolgirl: I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION. Class Teacher: Why not? Schoolgirl: Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!"
9. Mother asks daughter, how is married life? Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS. Mother reads the ad & is shocked " 7 DAYS A WEEK, TWICE A DAY, AND BOTH WAYS!
10. What is the STRONGEST muscle? TONGUE- It can raise a woman’s hip with just one lick!. The lightest muscle? PENIS! It can be raised by a woman’s tongue!
11. Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu.
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what’s your full name? Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
12. Man to wife: Business is bad if u learn 2 cook we can remove servant. Wife:
ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener & watchman..
13. COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party. BALLS said: You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!
14. A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like? Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn’t have chance to see his face" !
15. What’s the difference between stress, tension & panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, PANIC is when both are pregnant!
What do you think ?
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