For Sale – Murang-mura – Kaya Lang … 1) Eyemo (3 pesos lang) gamot sa mata w/ 2 variants: pwedeng de-roll-on o kaya e de-spray. 2) Flashlight (5 pesos lang), solar-powered 3) Swatch watch (10 pesos lang), kaya lang ang batterya e batterya ng kotse. 4) Melodramatic Fool’s Dictionary (5 pesos lang), mga 500 pages […]

UL> Related Christmas and Halloween Mixed Up ang kulit ng prenzter uw1clfhoi9 Ewww… Sticky!

Real software engineers don’t read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused. Real software engineers don’t comment their code. The identifiers are so mnemonic they don’t have to. Real software engineers don’t write applications programs, they implement algorithms. Real software engineers don’t program […]

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN: It Still Does Nothing SCSI: System Can’t See It MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed DOS: Defunct Operating System WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too PnP: Plug and Pray APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity […]

UL> Related I have won ten million dollars The Programmers’ Cheer read the thing Doctor Smith says .

OL> Related Bill Gates is naked . prenster Engot skul bukol

OL> Related Destined to get a virus Smoker – Programmer I have won ten million dollars My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results. Related hindi pa’t […]

A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I’d […]

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She’s a doctor." "That’s wonderful. How about you, Amy?" Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." […]

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. Related Steppenwolf song . Terrific Linux and Apple OS . Y2K Unix is user friendly

Unix is user friendly. It’s just very particular about who it’s friends are. Related Teacher na palaging nasa CR! god creation Bill Gates is naked . My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free. 2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs. 4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs. 5. Repeat three […]

An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano! Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account And if you had a 3 ½ inch floppy You hoped nobody found out! Compress was something you did to garbage […]

Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain. FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road. FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford. FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts. COBOL: A delivery van. It’s bulky and ugly […]