A technical support one day received a phone call and said "I have problems with my computer.." and continued. As every technical support he asked the client about the problem and told him to navigate his computer and change some settings and some more programs. When the the client found the his problems solved he […]

For Sale – Murang-mura – Kaya Lang … 1) Eyemo (3 pesos lang) gamot sa mata w/ 2 variants: pwedeng de-roll-on o kaya e de-spray. 2) Flashlight (5 pesos lang), solar-powered 3) Swatch watch (10 pesos lang), kaya lang ang batterya e batterya ng kotse. 4) Melodramatic Fool’s Dictionary (5 pesos lang), mga 500 pages […]

UL> Related Tech Support How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day… Password Mervins’ computor .

Real software engineers don’t read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused. Real software engineers don’t comment their code. The identifiers are so mnemonic they don’t have to. Real software engineers don’t write applications programs, they implement algorithms. Real software engineers don’t program […]

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN: It Still Does Nothing SCSI: System Can’t See It MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed DOS: Defunct Operating System WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too PnP: Plug and Pray APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity […]

UL> Related la lng readf nyo lng Y2K Christmas and Halloween Mixed Up Teacher na palaging nasa CR!

OL> Related Kasabihan Walang Hanggan hindi pa’t hindi rin Cup Holder DORA!!!

OL> Related Bill Gates makes a sandwich . Cheap travel adik Sa KoMPUTEr!! alimango at pabango

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results. Related Unix is […]

A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I’d […]

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She’s a doctor." "That’s wonderful. How about you, Amy?" Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." […]

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. Related Destined to get a virus prenster hindi pa’t hindi rin saging

Unix is user friendly. It’s just very particular about who it’s friends are. Related Real software engineers All programmers are playwrights Murphy’s Laws of Computing “computer”

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free. 2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs. 4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs. 5. Repeat three […]

An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano! Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account And if you had a 3 ½ inch floppy You hoped nobody found out! Compress was something you did to garbage […]