Dear Boss, I hope I haven’t misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of this Y to K dates problem makes any sense to me. At any rate I have finished converting all the months on all the company calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following improved […]
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can’t you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings, we only worry […]
If you can pick it up, it’s a PC. If you can’t pick it up but you can push it over, it’s a minicomputer. But when you can’t pick it up or knock it over, it’s a mainframe. Related Watching you Engot I have won ten million dollars Ewww… Sticky!
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it. Related adik Sa KoMPUTEr!! Software Engineer Terrific Linux and Apple OS . Men H Yvf
A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". "G.O.O.D" answered his wife. Related Genie Future Operating Systems Movies turn off . Software Development Cycle
Shift to the left, shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte! Related alimango at pabango uw1clfhoi9 saging maam talaga oh!!!
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." Related Technical Support Staff: Psychics or Geniuses interviewer Life Before the Computer Password
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt […]
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let’s catch a cab and in ten minutes we’ll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have […]
Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 Related Saging Justice Men H Yvf Teacher na palaging nasa CR! fRieNdStEr
Caller: Hello, is this the Help Line? HelpLine: Yes, it is. How may I help you? Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed? HelpLine: I’m sorry, but did you say a cup holder? Caller: Yes, it’s attached to […]
Programming Languages are Like Cars
Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain. FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road. FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford. FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts. COBOL: A delivery van. It’s bulky and ugly […]