ay tanga nga

Pampatawa from Mg Jason
Message: Street Vendor : "bili na kayo
ng relo!
gold watch ito!
pag namuti, white gold!
pag huminto stopwatch!"

gf : hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa
ito? hindi na ako
virgin at dalawang beses pa natin
ginawa!
bf : ano? isa lang ah?!
gf : bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin
mamaya?!

Couple talking:
wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa
labas.
husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan
natin.
husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?
umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na
lahat ng sira sa
bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino
gumawa ng trabaho.
wife : kasi kanina a man saw me
crying, sabi ko dami
sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to
help in exhange of either sex or bake
ako ng cake.
husband : so pnag-bake mo siya ng cake?
wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!

ANG MARRIED LIFE….
May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig
sa karaoke ay
inabot ng 5 am.
Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-
text ng:
"HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO.
UWI NA KO!"

Sa harap ng nursery window;
Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, am
sure magaling mag-drive
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi. Kasi kamukha siya ng
driver ninyo!

Husband came home from church,
suddenly lifted his wife
and carried her.
Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to
be romantic like this?
Husband: No! He told me to carry my
cross!

Friend: "Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos
mo, ah!"
Husband: "Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare
mo!"
Friend: "Surprise? Ano occassion?"
Husband: "Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa
ilalim ng kama namin kagabi!"

Health Advisory: "Beer contains female
hormones, and can
turn men into women.
After 5 pints…. men become
talkative, unreasonable,
irritable, cry for nothing, and
urinate while sitting!"

WIFE: I’m warning you! Parating na
husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong
ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka,
GAWIN MONA!!!

WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss
ko. Sabi nya "GO TO
HELL", kaya ito uwi agad ako..

Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko.
Huling gabi ko na
to, let’s make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa
akong gigising
bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.

HEHEHHE!

Population policies of countries:
China : Stop at 1 child.
Singapore : Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M.!

RUSSIAN: we’re 1st in space
USA : we’re 1st in the moon
ERAP: we’ll be the 1st in the sun
USA : you can’t go there, you’ll burn
ERAP: we’re not stupid, we’ll go there
at NIGHT!

Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag
nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!

What do you think ?

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