STA. BEBANG..STA.INES.. STA KOBANG…STA.CLAUS.. STA MESA….ST.CRUZ.. Ano na po ba ang nangyayari sa favortie Dyoks Room. Naging Dyok Dyok na yata.
Pinipilit kung kilitiin ang ang sarili ko para matawa sa mga b pinapadalang mga jokes sa room..pero no epek.
Sorry po..yan po ang akala ko. Mabuti na ang mga ito.. at di ka maiinis..yan din ang akala ko.
Ganoon pa man… ito pong mga ilang jokes na share ko ay baka nabasa na ninyo. Gusto ko i-share uli baka sakaling mapangiti kayo…… SMILE……..
MGA UTOS NG PANGONGOPYA
#1 Iwasang makipagtalo sa mga matatalino. Tandaan mo, sila ang mga kapit mo!
#2 Huwag magdalawang-isip sa kinopya mo! Time is gold, kaya kopya lang nang kopya!
#3 Iwasang uminom ng alak bago mangopya. Baka maging Intsik ‘yung test paper ng katabi mo!
#4 Huwag magdasal bago mangopya. Sira ka ba? Masama ang gagawin mo, tapos, hihingi ka pa ng tulong kay God?
#5 Lakihan ang sulat. May nangongopya rin sa likod mo!
Arabo
an arab was interviewed at US chekpoint
name pls?
arab:abdul aziz
interviewer:sex?
arab:6x a week
interviewer:i mean male or female
arab:doesn’t matter, sumtyms even camel
interviewer:HOLY COW!
arab:yes,even cows!
interviewer:oh dear!
arab:deer? no deer!me no fuck! dey run too fast!
How Many Rabbits Have You Got?
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: Because I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!
10“F” In Arithmetic
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an “F” in Arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked ’How much is 2 x 3?’ and I said ’6’"
"But that’s right!"
"Then she asked me ’How much is 3 x 2?’"
"What’s the bloody fucking difference?"
"That’s exactly what I said!"
How Many Rabbits Have You Got?
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: Because I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!
Irish Gas Attendant
Taking a wee break from the golf circuit, Tiger Woods drives his new BMW into an Irish gas station.
An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is, "Top o’ the morning to ya".
As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. "So what are those things my, son?" asks the attendant.
"They’re called tees," replied Tiger.
"And what would ya be usin ’em for, now?" inquired the Irishman.
"Well, they’re for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.
"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an’ Joseph!" exclaimed the Irish attendant. "Those fellas working for BMW think of everything!"
Truck Driver and Blonde
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?"
"Well,
Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!"
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry."
"No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
ERAP papunta sa Pearly Gates (Langit)
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead." Picasso erases Einstein’s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees Erap. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
Erap. looks bewildered and says, "Sino ba ang mga tanga, mga tarantadong tinamaan ng lintek na mga bobong yon ??”
Saint Peter sighs and says, "OK ka talaga, Pare Erap." Walang kaduda duda…ikaw nga si Pareng Erap…. Pero sad to say na…. DOON KA SA KABILA…..kasama so Nang mga ALIPORES MO!!“
Technical Support
Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.
Customer: "You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won’t boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside."
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.
Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write ’click’ and I wrote ’click’."
Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It’s asking for ’Enter Your Last Name.’"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install
What Comes After Ten
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?" "Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your Dad is doing a good job. What comes after ten?"
"A Jack."
Kissing Meaning
Kissing a lady’s forehead is Respect,
Lips is Love,
Breast is Loyalty,
Tummy is Heroism,
Vagina is Patriotism
and kissing her Asshole is the greatest act of Bravery. 🙂
10 inch dick
In a restaurant, a man saw a beautiful lady.
He called the waiter to bring the lady the most expensive wine and an invitation for her to join his table..
The lady wrote a note saying..-"if you have a million peso, a Mercedez Benz and 7 inch dick,s ure you can have me"…
Upon receiving the note, the man felt insulted and wrote back.-"actually I have a billion in my account, two benz and a porsche….but never will I undergo an operation to cut 3 inch even how beautiful you are….please return the wine!"
(Bruha ka..nakakita ka din ng katapat…akala mo siguro ha….)
Mayayabang na turista
May isang intsik na turista sa Pinas na sumakay ng taxi.. tinanong sya ng driver..
Driver: Ilang taon nyo ginawa ang Great Wall of China?
Intsik: Mga 1 year lang..
Driver: T*****a ang yabang!
Next ung European at nagtanong uli ung driver..
Driver: Ilang taon nyo binuo ang Eiffel Tower?
European: Mga 8 months lang naman..
Driver: T*****a grabe talaga angas ng mga turista!
Next ung Amerikano at nagtanong uli ung driver..
Driver: Ilang taon bo bago na-build ung Twin Towers?
Amerikano: 6 months nga lang eh..
Napadaan sila sa Mall of Asia at biglang nagtanong ang mga turista..
Turista: Ilang taon bago nyo nabuo ang Mall na yan?
Driver: Naku mga Sir…..Kaninang dumaan ako dyan wala pa yan eh…..
(Pinoy talaga yong driver ng taxi…)
Applying For Social Security
A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line for quite a long time he arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his identification to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he seemed to have left his wallet at home. ’’Will I have to go home and come back now?’’ he asks. The woman says, ’’Unbutton your shirt.’’ He opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, ’’That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,’’ as she processes his Social Security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She says, ’’You should have dropped your pants — you might have qualified for disability, too.’’
(Pwede pa yan Tsong…VIAGRA LANG ANG KATAPAT)
Donkey Joke
King wanted to improve the mood of his favorite donkey, who was depressed, so he put out a proclamation that he would pay anyone in the kingdom 200 gold pieces if they could make his donkey happy. Many tried, all failed.
Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was indeed happy – so happy in fact, that he was laughing heartily. The jester got the gold, but a few days passed and the king couldn’t make the donkey stop laughing. So he put out another proclamation saying he would pay 500 gold pieces to anyone who could make the donkey stop.
The jester returned, went in to see the donkey for a few seconds, and when he came out, the donkey was crying. The king asked the jester how he did it. The jester said, "I will tell you for another 200 gold pieces."
When the jester had received his gold, he revealed, "On my first visit, I told the donkey that my dick was bigger than his. This time I showed him."
Bad Case of the Stutters
A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to many doctors over the years, but none of them could help him. Finally one doctor said to him "I believe I found the reason for your stuttering".
The man asked, "Wha.. wha.. wha..what is my pro.. pro..pro.. problem."
The doctor replied, "Your penis is very, very large. The weight of your penis is causing a strain on your larynx, and this results in your stuttering. The only solution to this is to perform a penis transplant." The man was really tired of his stuttering, so he agreed to a transplant. Several days later the doctor called the man up and informed him that they have found a suitable donor. The transplant operation was successfully performed and the man could speak without any stutter.
At first he was happy, but after a while he began to miss his large penis, and how the girls used to love it. He finally went back to his doctor and said, "Doctor, I am grateful for the opportunity you have given me to speak without a stutter, but I miss my old penis. Please find the transplant donor and tell him that we have to exchange penises back."
The doctor shook his head and replied, "That’s im.. im.. imp.. impo…impo imposs… impossible."
aYOKO KO NA…..
fEED BACK MUNA..
What do you think ?
January 8, 2009
Dyoks Room
STA. BEBANG..STA.INES.. STA KOBANG…STA.CLAUS.. STA MESA….ST.CRUZ.. Ano na po ba ang nangyayari sa favortie Dyoks Room. Naging Dyok Dyok na yata.
Pinipilit kung kilitiin ang ang sarili ko para matawa sa mga b pinapadalang mga jokes sa room..pero no epek.
Sorry po..yan po ang akala ko. Mabuti na ang mga ito.. at di ka maiinis..yan din ang akala ko.
Ganoon pa man… ito pong mga ilang jokes na share ko ay baka nabasa na ninyo. Gusto ko i-share uli baka sakaling mapangiti kayo…… SMILE……..
MGA UTOS NG PANGONGOPYA
#1 Iwasang makipagtalo sa mga matatalino. Tandaan mo, sila ang mga kapit mo!
#2 Huwag magdalawang-isip sa kinopya mo! Time is gold, kaya kopya lang nang kopya!
#3 Iwasang uminom ng alak bago mangopya. Baka maging Intsik ‘yung test paper ng katabi mo!
#4 Huwag magdasal bago mangopya. Sira ka ba? Masama ang gagawin mo, tapos, hihingi ka pa ng tulong kay God?
#5 Lakihan ang sulat. May nangongopya rin sa likod mo!
Arabo
an arab was interviewed at US chekpoint
name pls?
arab:abdul aziz
interviewer:sex?
arab:6x a week
interviewer:i mean male or female
arab:doesn’t matter, sumtyms even camel
interviewer:HOLY COW!
arab:yes,even cows!
interviewer:oh dear!
arab:deer? no deer!me no fuck! dey run too fast!
How Many Rabbits Have You Got?
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: Because I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!
10“F” In Arithmetic
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an “F” in Arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked ’How much is 2 x 3?’ and I said ’6’"
"But that’s right!"
"Then she asked me ’How much is 3 x 2?’"
"What’s the bloody fucking difference?"
"That’s exactly what I said!"
How Many Rabbits Have You Got?
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: Because I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!
Irish Gas Attendant
Taking a wee break from the golf circuit, Tiger Woods drives his new BMW into an Irish gas station.
An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is, "Top o’ the morning to ya".
As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. "So what are those things my, son?" asks the attendant.
"They’re called tees," replied Tiger.
"And what would ya be usin ’em for, now?" inquired the Irishman.
"Well, they’re for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.
"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an’ Joseph!" exclaimed the Irish attendant. "Those fellas working for BMW think of everything!"
Truck Driver and Blonde
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?"
"Well,
Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!"
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry."
"No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
ERAP papunta sa Pearly Gates (Langit)
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead." Picasso erases Einstein’s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees Erap. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
Erap. looks bewildered and says, "Sino ba ang mga tanga, mga tarantadong tinamaan ng lintek na mga bobong yon ??”
Saint Peter sighs and says, "OK ka talaga, Pare Erap." Walang kaduda duda…ikaw nga si Pareng Erap…. Pero sad to say na…. DOON KA SA KABILA…..kasama so Nang mga ALIPORES MO!!“
Technical Support
Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.
Customer: "You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won’t boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside."
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.
Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write ’click’ and I wrote ’click’."
Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It’s asking for ’Enter Your Last Name.’"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install
What Comes After Ten
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?" "Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your Dad is doing a good job. What comes after ten?"
"A Jack."
Kissing Meaning
Kissing a lady’s forehead is Respect,
Lips is Love,
Breast is Loyalty,
Tummy is Heroism,
Vagina is Patriotism
and kissing her Asshole is the greatest act of Bravery. 🙂
10 inch dick
In a restaurant, a man saw a beautiful lady.
He called the waiter to bring the lady the most expensive wine and an invitation for her to join his table..
The lady wrote a note saying..-"if you have a million peso, a Mercedez Benz and 7 inch dick,s ure you can have me"…
Upon receiving the note, the man felt insulted and wrote back.-"actually I have a billion in my account, two benz and a porsche….but never will I undergo an operation to cut 3 inch even how beautiful you are….please return the wine!"
(Bruha ka..nakakita ka din ng katapat…akala mo siguro ha….)
Mayayabang na turista
May isang intsik na turista sa Pinas na sumakay ng taxi.. tinanong sya ng driver..
Driver: Ilang taon nyo ginawa ang Great Wall of China?
Intsik: Mga 1 year lang..
Driver: T*****a ang yabang!
Next ung European at nagtanong uli ung driver..
Driver: Ilang taon nyo binuo ang Eiffel Tower?
European: Mga 8 months lang naman..
Driver: T*****a grabe talaga angas ng mga turista!
Next ung Amerikano at nagtanong uli ung driver..
Driver: Ilang taon bo bago na-build ung Twin Towers?
Amerikano: 6 months nga lang eh..
Napadaan sila sa Mall of Asia at biglang nagtanong ang mga turista..
Turista: Ilang taon bago nyo nabuo ang Mall na yan?
Driver: Naku mga Sir…..Kaninang dumaan ako dyan wala pa yan eh…..
(Pinoy talaga yong driver ng taxi…)
Applying For Social Security
A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line for quite a long time he arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his identification to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he seemed to have left his wallet at home. ’’Will I have to go home and come back now?’’ he asks. The woman says, ’’Unbutton your shirt.’’ He opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, ’’That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,’’ as she processes his Social Security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She says, ’’You should have dropped your pants — you might have qualified for disability, too.’’
(Pwede pa yan Tsong…VIAGRA LANG ANG KATAPAT)
Donkey Joke
King wanted to improve the mood of his favorite donkey, who was depressed, so he put out a proclamation that he would pay anyone in the kingdom 200 gold pieces if they could make his donkey happy. Many tried, all failed.
Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was indeed happy – so happy in fact, that he was laughing heartily. The jester got the gold, but a few days passed and the king couldn’t make the donkey stop laughing. So he put out another proclamation saying he would pay 500 gold pieces to anyone who could make the donkey stop.
The jester returned, went in to see the donkey for a few seconds, and when he came out, the donkey was crying. The king asked the jester how he did it. The jester said, "I will tell you for another 200 gold pieces."
When the jester had received his gold, he revealed, "On my first visit, I told the donkey that my dick was bigger than his. This time I showed him."
Bad Case of the Stutters
A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to many doctors over the years, but none of them could help him. Finally one doctor said to him "I believe I found the reason for your stuttering".
The man asked, "Wha.. wha.. wha..what is my pro.. pro..pro.. problem."
The doctor replied, "Your penis is very, very large. The weight of your penis is causing a strain on your larynx, and this results in your stuttering. The only solution to this is to perform a penis transplant." The man was really tired of his stuttering, so he agreed to a transplant. Several days later the doctor called the man up and informed him that they have found a suitable donor. The transplant operation was successfully performed and the man could speak without any stutter.
At first he was happy, but after a while he began to miss his large penis, and how the girls used to love it. He finally went back to his doctor and said, "Doctor, I am grateful for the opportunity you have given me to speak without a stutter, but I miss my old penis. Please find the transplant donor and tell him that we have to exchange penises back."
The doctor shook his head and replied, "That’s im.. im.. imp.. impo…impo imposs… impossible."
aYOKO KO NA…..
fEED BACK MUNA..
What do you think ?
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